you shall not change me

Is that me?
unsure and timid?
cowering in the dark
at that slight sound
a shadow

Is that me?
Relieved that i do not travel alone?
In the city that i have grown up in?
Being told to be back home at eight?
feeling relieved when i get into my car
And shut out the world?

Is that me?
rolling up my window at night
haven't felt that wind on my face in so long
haven't tasted freedom
since you decided when i should step out
and when i should not
i was unbound
till you told me where my limits lay
i was wild and spirited
till you told me i needed to be punished

Is that me?
as defined by you...

but i promise, you shall not change me
i promise that i shall reclaim my being
my body
my world
my space
my city
my 'ME'

there shall be one day
when i shall roam as i used to
when i shall be as i used to be
when the world will again be my oyster
when my life will be the blessing i used to see it to be
and when a girl being born in this world
shall not curse her fate
for being born so

you shall not change me...

happy? new? year..yes!

So...i waited for one week...then the second week started...and it has ended...i waited for all this while to be able to decide whether i can truly wish my near and dear ones a happy new year...i waited to see if this year was going to start atleast any differently, considering the angry way in which last year had ended...After two weeks, things are just the same. Women are still unsafe. Apathy is still the most widely experienced mental state. The fervour dies out, like every fervour does. status quo is the most permanent state of being, people continue to be obnoxious and insensitive and people like me continue to refuse to settle down.

it is now, after two weeks, that i have finally realised what is that i truly want to wish everyone. I do not want to wish anyone a passive HAVE a happy new year. i think it is time we wish each other to MAKE a new year..happiness shall follow...

Let's make this a year when we dream of things not dreamt of, when we refuse to be passive recipients of things good and bad, instead become actors in what happens, when we struggle and fight and light fires that show new paths and test new strengths. Let's make this a year when we stop waiting for movements to happen that we can become a part of and become movements in ourselves. Let's make this a year when we stop clicking our tongues sitting before TVs and laptops, but take our words and connect more of us together and make MOVEMENT happen. Change might be a while in happening, but i am in no hurry. i have my whole lifetime. i dont want to be at the receiving end of the change. i want to be a part of the change. i want to make it happen.

Hence, on this 16th day of January, 2013, i am pledging to start a movement - iAWAKENING...i am be willing to be called a charlatan, a trouble maker. i am also admitting that i do not know what the movement will do. all i do know is that i am first reaching out to you. reach back to me. wherever u may be and then, let us become pall bearers of a time we wish to end and harbingers of a time we wish to begin. whatever we think we want to do, we have to pledge our lifetimes to it, so that atleast i can look myself in the mirror tomorrow as a mother worthy of her word, as a sister worthy of rubbing shoulders with other sisters and a woman who did truly believed she and others such as her deserved better and was willing to snatch it away from those who came in the way.

By this movement, by first endeavour shall be to connect all of us. Then I want to us to think of ways both online and offline by which we shall insist that we are heard...be it through organising groups that go and speak with schools about sex education and about social education that teaches boys and girls to respect each other, or organising a flash mob like the 1billionrising on the 14th of February, as being done in many parts of the world, or be it other more creative means. I know it for a fact that when all of us get together, ideas shall abound, energies and shall push and milestones concurred.

are you with me? would you wish yourself to MAKE A NEW YEAR?