hmm...

if for a long stretch of time, it feels like you've been getting up from the wrong side of the bed, maybe the truth is that you have been getting into the wrong bed!

Itni to humari yaari na thi ki milne chale aaye

Par taqdeer ki bhi majboori thi

Aakhir koi to bahana chahiye tha

Tumse milneka

An overwhelmed minds knows not a sensible sentence...

On-the-spot running does not get anyone anywhere....

The whole real estate industry survives on making people invest their todays in dreams, beliefs and imaginations, visualisations as far removed from real(i)ty as possible and as close to realty as possible..

I am dis-oriented...does that mean i am off all things oriental?

indelible

the eye

unfocusses

on presents

clouded by

images of the past

chimeras in the mind

arguments

counter-arguments

wins

losses

noises in the head

drowning out

weak

watery

shaky

assurances

the number game

One I

sidled up

tried hard to snuggle

into

One YOU

but

one YOU

did not

want me TOO

alone

shattered pieces

lovingly put together

by me

colored canvases

forgotten

thrown

pens discarded

writings torn

scattered in the wind

pasts carried like shrouds

on solitary shoulders

bent under the weight

of solitariness

pre-fixed me

un-wrapped

un-raveled

un-burdened

me

re-softened

re-believing

re-discovered

me

sepia toned stirrings

like a yellowed letter

words peeped out

and shook awake

those minutes

those hours

those days

just like that

just like that

off lists

off invitations

off inclusions

off shared thoughts

plans

actions

ideas

discussions

just like that

like drawings of a childish hand

on fast receding sand on the sea shore

i drew

and lost

and drew

and lost

just like that

i must grow up

the sea has beaten me today

i shall never draw on the sand again

and watch it being rubbed off

just like that

Greed

more..more..

i smile & rejoice..

yet more...more

gains do not replace losses

getting does not replete losing

gains do not fill the hands...that want more..more

a yawning void

more..more

each day, each thought

where? how?

i lose more...more

gone.empty.

scratching at empty spaces with cloying nails

more...more

bleeding gashes in empty spaces

looking to be filled

more..more

yet again